Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Richard Bach
Do you really understand this message?
Why do 12-step programs work?
I'm not going to explain them here. They are a state of mind (a peace and an awareness) and can't be taught.
If yes, continue on; if no, enjoy the following link on Leaders for HealthCare and come back in a few years.
http://edwardoconnor.com/publication_history/current_publications/professional_publications/pdf/want_to_do_col9.pdf
As a leader of (ourselves or) many, we must challenge ourselves
1. KNOW what you really want; you can spend a LONG time going down unnecessary paths and misleading others
2. barriers : I see where I want to go but it can’t happen for me – because. . .
* consciousness affects outcomes
Now what? Answer these questions anonymously :
What is the 1 most important thing you want (why are you working, studying, sacrificing)? ________________
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
Have we delved far enough (maybe not)? Are you still on the superficial or did you state what your most basic desire is?
Now let's discuss the path that you plan to take. Is every step required for the ideal result? Are you passionate about every step? (if not you will run out of gas and fail to reach the outcome)
publish your results anonymously if you would like us to push the thoughts a little deeper.
7 comments:
Thank you for the thought provoking questions - that do deserve an answer. Will be back later with concise responses. I do especially like/agree with the reality of "running out of gas if the passion is not there". The goals need to be correct, or we will forever be distracted and delayed in achieving anything.
Your quotes are lovely. I hope you feel very strong and very courageous! And how apropos in my case - having once experienced a tremendous amount of love in a very small house, and an empty heart in a large one.
What is the 1 most important thing you want (why are you working, studying, sacrificing)? __money__________
With that result, what will that bring you? ___freedom_______
With that result, what will that bring you? _ability to take care of my parents__
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
With that result, what will that bring you? ________________
Warning - this is rambling and probably contains more questions than answers.
The overall goal is simple - contentment, satisfaction, peace, happiness.
How to get there?
A much more difficult question.
How do we even know when we are there? How do we know when the goals are met? How happy are we supposed to be? How realisitic is it to "want it all". How is the goal even validated?
I have recently achieved a major life goal with career - reaching a level that provides financial security, job satisfaction, and respect from my peers. I am extremely happy and proud of myself. I wake up each day with a sense of excitement and accomplishment. Should there be more? Should I feel guilty that I am not taking time to nurture my friendships enough? Should I feel guilty that I don't have a partner to love, or who loves me right now? Should I feel sad because I am "alone" in this achievement? How do we know when we are "happy enough".
And if we have to keep moving forward - to achieve more - it becomes difficult to choose a path. Where does the energy come from when a strong need to achieve more does not exist at this point?
One thing that has become very clear to me over the past few years, is that we cannot depend on another person in reaching our goals. While it would be a dream come true to have someone to support us, understand and celebrate our achievements, and validate that we even exist on this planet for a purpose, we cannot let our goals and dreams lay idle in the absence of this relationship. We must turn to ourselves for support. And family/friends if we are lucky enough to have those that truly understand us. The pride of accomplishment must first come from within. And once a goal is met, the sense of self pride is nurtured and grows - giving us even more strength for forge a path alone. The partnership will come eventually. When we truly believe in ourselves, and have an aura of beauty and confidence about us - we will find ourselves with the right person. It is something that cannot be planned or rushed.
I have reached level of satisfaction in my life, but will always want more. The path is unclear to me at this time. There are several that run parallel. Most importantly - continue to exceed and surpass my accomplishments at work. Outside of that, I need to pinpoint and focus on an activity or goal to enrich my life outside the workplace. Lately it is cycling - pushing my limits on the bike. Using the biking time to take in the beautiful city and country environment, pushing the limits of my body and relaxing my mind on those long rides is amazing therapy.
Perhaps secondary to the solitary activities, I have found that using my energy to bring groups together for social events, cultural activities, and just opportunitities for human interaction and sharing are very satisfying. Instigating dinners at a new restaurant, trips to the museum, watching a new movie, keeping in touch with email, sharing my life with friends from other cities, etc. Share the fun with others. Laugh together - share a few secrets - help others who are in need of companionship - who don't have the other self-fulfilling elements in their life. That feels pretty damn good.
So, what am I doing?
I am choosing events and activities each day that enrich my life - provide knowledge, culture, beauty, and entertainment. I feel extremely lucky to be in a position of contentment at the moment. I do realize that it is only a state of mind, and could change with life events out of my control (loss of loved one, friend or family member in need, debilitating health issues, etc), but as long as I control what I can, and use my brain and body to make daily improvements, I will stay in this oasis of satisfaction and contentment. I feel very lucky.
What are YOU doing Mr. Castellari? Is it successful?
Anon#1 : Good, that is how the game is played. We usually start with a need for (more) money to fund our other goals and satisfactions. ‘More’ money opens doors, keeps our options open, and gives us the freedom to purchase and enjoy things we haven’t even dreamed of yet. Even ‘more’ money brings a peace of mind to enjoy today’s gifts while believing that we don’t have to worry about future security.
I would like you to try and discover what you will gain from the experience of “taking care of your parents.”
You may see that your fundamental need in life doesn’t really require the wild serious of challenges and obstacles that we put in front of that goal.
“Obstacles are the things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.” E. Joseph Cussman
You are charmed! Congratulations on your achievements and providing many gifts to others.
I would have liked to coach you 10 years ago, but you have done very well. Today, I think ‘you’ would be an excellent mentor for others and help them see the difference between personal achievement and team achievement as well as to show them your conclusions about taking a wide detour to get where you really want to be.
You open with excellent questions : what is the real goal, how do I know when I have it?
We start with a meditation. We take ourselves into the future and see, taste, smell, our success and surroundings. Then document this picture and create the Objectives, Strategies, and Tactics for reaching this place.
Take a good break and enjoy your success.
Set a deadline of when its time to get back to work.
I encourage you to plan and achieve what you need most with the same ability and vigilance as you applied to your career. Everything else we be a distraction, work, social, friend’s problems. One goal, one path.
Best of luck!
I DID have someone to coach me. Not 10 years ago, but maybe 5. Someone who demonstrated and taught skills in human interactions, communications, and other business areas. Someone who was a direct influence on the success I have achieved over the past 3 years. Even though this person is distant now, I still think about "WWSD"? in certain situations, and give thanks often that I once had such a role model and mentor.
You see, sometimes you can teach old dogs new tricks!!!
Today I will get out on my bike and get in some miles and enjoy the evening at dinner with friends. You are correct - the next goal needs to be formed in order to plan for what comes next - before too much of life is "wasted". But today I relax and have fun and enjoy the sunshine! I hope you are doing the same wherever you are!!!
Thanks!!
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